M*A*S*H Klinger's Relatives

Klinger's scams to get out	Episode
Klinger is naked on guard duty	Chief Surgeon Who?	1
Big Red Bird with fuzzy pink feet	Trial of Henry Blake	2
Dressed as a Nun and leaving the camp	Officer of the Day	3
Leaving camp dressed as a business girl	Officer of the Day	3
Sneaking out as a bush, but a dog ruined it for him	Dear Peggy	4
Dressed as an old Korean woman with hairy knuckles	Dear Peggy	4
With a Raft down the river, to the Sea of Japan, then San Francisco	Dear Peggy	4
Two brothers, Hakim & Maurice, died in explosion at the Toledo Harmonica Factory. (fake brothers)	Mail Call Again	4
By Dumping Gasoline on himself and threatens to light himself	Most Unforgettable Characters	4
Dresses as Moses to get out	Quo Vodas Captain Chandler	4
Claims he was hit in the head with a chopper blade	Dear Sigmund	5
Zolton - King of the Gypsies	Hawkeye, Get your Gun	5
Acting as if he has Severe Depression	Colonel's Horse	5
Get medical discharge from eating a jeep	38 Across	5
He is the Toledo Strangler - wears a yellow scarf and kills lady motorcycle cops - Wants to be extridited to Toledo for a lengthy jury trial.	Hanky Panky	5
Pole sitting until the Colonel gives him a section 8	Souvenirs	5
He is having fainting spells	Winchester Tapes	6
Trying to get into West Point	Change Day	6
Owner of his invisible camel Habbibi	Last Laugh	6
He is going to try to EAT his way to a discharge	MASH Olympics	6
Hardship discharge for his 9 kids	What's up Doc	6
Dressing as Movie stars - for photo shoot - for Stars & Stripes	Major Ego	7
Sweat his way out of the Army pint by pint	None like it Hot	7
Uses Voodoo on the Colonel to get out	Preventive Medicine	7
Acting as if he is in Toledo - (almost worked)	Young and the Restless	7
Queen of the Nile	April Fools	8

	Klinger's Uncles	Episode
Uncle Bob	My Uncle Bob used nylons to get out of the Navy	Price of Tomato Juice	4
Uncle Jake	I'm coming Uncle Jake	It Happened One Night	4
Uncle Zak	My Uncle Zak wore the dress to get out of WW1	Margaret's Marriage	5
Uncle Gus	Uncle Gus got out of WW1 as my Aunt Gussy	Change Day	6
Uncle Bob	My Uncle Bob gets out next month	Your Hit Parade	6
Uncle Abdul	Uncle Abdul can translate English / Lebanonise	The Party	7
Uncle Ahmed	And if that fails, I can get my Uncle Ahmed to buy me a job at City Hall.	Ain't Love Grand	7
Uncle Hakim	Uncle Hakim was married under this lamp… twice - Swag lamp from home hanging in Klingers office.	Goodbye Cruel World	8
Uncle 7199199	Klinger learned a lesson from his Uncle 7199199 about counterfeiting	Depressing News	9
Uncle Bustaffa	A nine letter word for my Uncle Bustaffa's middle name.	Depressing News	9
Uncle Amos	My uncle Amos was in the bird bath business.	Cementing Relationships	9
Uncle Harry	Uncle Harry is the best whiplash man in Toledo	Snappier Judgment	10
Uncle Eustus	Delerious with fever, Klinger shouts - Uncle Eustus don't go out tonight, they know that you stole the mellons.	Folly's of the Living, Concerns of the Dead	10
Uncle Hassan the Enforcer	Hassan the Enforcer is the most successful person in the Klinger clan	Promotion Commotion	10
Uncle Habib	Uncle Habib gave me this suit - Klinger is wearing a Zoot suit.	Trick or Treatment	11
Uncle Amier	Uncle Amier is their third partner in their Hoola hoop business	Who Knew	11

Other Relatives and Friends
An uncle in Chicago that would kill anybody for $100	Adams Ribs	3
Lavern Goodbye! So long Harry, Frieda	It Happened One Night	4
An Uncle who would rub anybody out	Dear Ma	4
Klinger's father's name is Amos - Amos, look at his hands, he's going to be a musician.	Some 38th Parallels	4
My Dad, Butch, that's his nickname, and my sister, Yvonne,	Interview	4
Cousin Fatima - Ahh, everything she touches smells like jasmine.	Old Soldiers	8
And look, with my Aunt Fatima's rug, I made a private room.	Goodbye Cruel World	8
Receives a letter from his Aunt Nigla	The Birthday Girls	10
Cousin Num Num voted Miss Hell on Wheels	Identity Crisis	10
Hassan the Enforcer is the most successful person in the Klinger clan.	Promotion Commotion	10